The Rainforest Cafe – An Aesthetic Choice

Everyday is fucking Earth Day.

Hey Kids. Wanna go to the mall and eat over priced mozzarella sticks while a broken animatronic gorilla screams at you? FUCK YEAH! It’s time for the Rainforest Cafe!

Do you love eating reheated frozen food in a room that smells like a public pool? Does the idea of chowing down on some freezer burned black bean burgers next to 17 screaming children make you super excited? Then do I have the interior design trend for you.

Buy plants and try your hardest to keep them alive. It’s like a video game, where everything you do is a micro-transaction and the only prize is crippling depression. See if you can keep a plant, any plant, alive for 2 weeks or more! If so, you must be a magician! No one has ever beaten the high score!

Middle-aged women dream of being seduced by a pirate shirted stoic man in a bathroom like this.

Plants inside your house are supposed to “clean the air” whatever that means. I just like the way they look. What’s great is if you get fake plants, they do the opposite of cleaning the air. They fill it with dust and a lingering stale scent that only years of neglect can offer. But look at them. Plants are a really creative natural decor choice that require both work and time.

But they sure are nice. I like the way they look. The real value of plants besides “cleaning the air” is the shadows they cast on your walls. They provide a sense of drama in an otherwise maudlin space. “Whoa dude! You have plants in here? It’s like the outdoors! Holy shit!”, is what your guests will say.

I imagine an influential yet spooky couple in an open relationship sitting quietly on these chairs while various potential mates from FetLife walk past hoping to gain their favor.

So buy some plants. Put them in your house. Have ideas. I don’t know man.

8 thoughts on “The Rainforest Cafe – An Aesthetic Choice

  1. By way of introduction, I am Mark Schaefer, and I represent Nutritional Products International. We serve both international and domestic manufacturers who are seeking to gain more distribution within the United States. Your brand recently caught my attention, so I am contacting you today to discuss the possibility of expanding your national distribution reach.We provide expertise in all areas of distribution, and our offerings include the following: Turnkey/One-stop solution, Active accounts with major U.S. distributors and retailers, Our executive team held executive positions with Walmart and Amazon, Our proven sales force has public relations, branding, and marketing all under one roof, We focus on both new and existing product lines, Warehousing and logistics. Our company has a proven history of initiating accounts and placing orders with major distribution outlets. Our history allows us to have intimate and unique relationships with key buyers across the United States, thus giving your brand a fast track to market in a professional manner. Please contact me directly so that we can discuss your brand further. Kind Regards, Mark Schaefer, marks@nutricompany.com, VP of Business Development, Nutritional Products International, 101 Plaza Real S, Ste #224, Boca Raton, FL 33432, Office: 561-544-0719

  2. I manage a vape shop website directory and we have had a posting from a vape store in the USA that likewise offers for sale CBD products. A Month later, PayPal has written to use to say that our account has been limited and have asked us to get rid of PayPal as a payment solution from our vape store directory. We do not sell CBD products such as CBD oil. We merely offer marketing services to CBD firms. I have taken a look at Holland & Barrett– the UK’s Leading Health and wellness Retail store and if you take a good look, you will see that they promote a surprisingly wide-ranging variety of CBD goods, specifically CBD oil and they also happen to accept PayPal as a settlement solution. It seems that PayPal is applying twos sets of rules to different companies. As a result of this restriction, I can no longer take PayPal on my CBD-related internet site. This has limited my payment choices and presently, I am intensely contingent on Cryptocurrency payments and straightforward bank transfers. I have gotten in touch with a lawyer from a Magic Circle law office in The city of london and they said that what PayPal is doing is entirely unlawful and inequitable as it ought to be applying a consistent standard to all companies. I am still to consult a different legal representative from a US law office in London to see what PayPal’s legal position is in the USA. In the meantime, I would be very appreciative if anyone here at targetdomain could offer me with alternative payment processors/merchants that deal with CBD firms.

Leave a Comment