Stop Lighting Your Room With a Ceiling Fan

In most ads trying to sell you ceiling fans, the lights are off. I wonder why?

Stop being a fucking idiot. Jesus Christ. Buy a fucking lamp. Buy two lamps. Start a fire. Burn down your house. I’m sick of walking into people’s living rooms and having the ceiling fan as the only light source. Did your aunt die and her last wish was that you look poor forever?

Seriously – if you learn nothing else from this website, but you stop using your ceiling fan as a lighting source, then I’ll feel like I cured skin cancer or something. I don’t even think they should make ceiling fans with lights because you dumbasses keep using them as your main source of lighting.

Fucking gross.

I love going into a living room that is, somehow, both dimly lit and glaringly bright with swirling shadows of disorientation threatening to make me vomit.

Here’s a pro tip, no one looks good under down lighting. No one. If you put some super hot model under a ceiling fan light, she’d like a melting corpse skeleton. It’s not flattering. It makes your house look as well lit as a prison. And lighting is one of the most important aspects of interior design.

But do you care? No you’re just sitting in your shitty living room under a black swirling ceiling fan (that you haven’t dusted in 4 years) watching Letterkenny on a Walmart’s cheapest chunkiest 2013 Vizio 48″ LCD panel. You’re just guzzling Miller Light and texting 3 girls at the same time on the shattered screen of your LG G4, charging it with the charger you stole from your boss.

Fuck you dude. Buy a lamp and stop using your ceiling fan as a light source.

1 thought on “Stop Lighting Your Room With a Ceiling Fan

Leave a Comment