Stop Lighting Your Room With a Ceiling Fan

In most ads trying to sell you ceiling fans, the lights are off. I wonder why?

Stop being a fucking idiot. Jesus Christ. Buy a fucking lamp. Buy two lamps. Start a fire. Burn down your house. I’m sick of walking into people’s living rooms and having the ceiling fan as the only light source. Did your aunt die and her last wish was that you look poor forever?

Seriously – if you learn nothing else from this website, but you stop using your ceiling fan as a lighting source, then I’ll feel like I cured skin cancer or something. I don’t even think they should make ceiling fans with lights because you dumbasses keep using them as your main source of lighting.

Fucking gross.

I love going into a living room that is, somehow, both dimly lit and glaringly bright with swirling shadows of disorientation threatening to make me vomit.

Here’s a pro tip, no one looks good under down lighting. No one. If you put some super hot model under a ceiling fan light, she’d like a melting corpse skeleton. It’s not flattering. It makes your house look as well lit as a prison. And lighting is one of the most important aspects of interior design.

But do you care? No you’re just sitting in your shitty living room under a black swirling ceiling fan (that you haven’t dusted in 4 years) watching Letterkenny on a Walmart’s cheapest chunkiest 2013 Vizio 48″ LCD panel. You’re just guzzling Miller Light and texting 3 girls at the same time on the shattered screen of your LG G4, charging it with the charger you stole from your boss.

Fuck you dude. Buy a lamp and stop using your ceiling fan as a light source.

11 thoughts on “Stop Lighting Your Room With a Ceiling Fan

  1. Hey, this is Eric and I ran across thebacheloruncle.com a few minutes ago.

    Looks great… but now what?

    By that I mean, when someone like me finds your website – either through Search or just bouncing around – what happens next? Do you get a lot of leads from your site, or at least enough to make you happy?

    Honestly, most business websites fall a bit short when it comes to generating paying customers. Studies show that 70% of a site’s visitors disappear and are gone forever after just a moment.

    Here’s an idea…

    How about making it really EASY for every visitor who shows up to get a personal phone call you as soon as they hit your site…

    You can –

    Talk With Web Visitor is a software widget that’s works on your site, ready to capture any visitor’s Name, Email address and Phone Number. It signals you the moment they let you know they’re interested – so that you can talk to that lead while they’re literally looking over your site.

    CLICK HERE http://talkwithcustomer.com to try out a Live Demo with Talk With Web Visitor now to see exactly how it works.

    You’ll be amazed – the difference between contacting someone within 5 minutes versus a half-hour or more later could increase your results 100-fold.

    It gets even better… once you’ve captured their phone number, with our new SMS Text With Lead feature, you can automatically start a text (SMS) conversation.

    That way, even if you don’t close a deal right away, you can follow up with text messages for new offers, content links, even just “how you doing?” notes to build a relationship.

    Pretty sweet – AND effective.

    CLICK HERE http://talkwithcustomer.com to discover what Talk With Web Visitor can do for your business.

    You could be converting up to 100X more leads today!

    Eric
    PS: Talk With Web Visitor offers a FREE 14 days trial – and it even includes International Long Distance Calling.
    You have customers waiting to talk with you right now… don’t keep them waiting.
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  2. My name’s Eric and I just came across your website – thebacheloruncle.com – in the search results.

    Here’s what that means to me…

    Your SEO’s working.

    You’re getting eyeballs – mine at least.

    Your content’s pretty good, wouldn’t change a thing.

    BUT…

    Eyeballs don’t pay the bills.

    CUSTOMERS do.

    And studies show that 7 out of 10 visitors to a site like thebacheloruncle.com will drop by, take a gander, and then head for the hills without doing anything else.

    It’s like they never were even there.

    You can fix this.

    You can make it super-simple for them to raise their hand, say, “okay, let’s talk” without requiring them to even pull their cell phone from their pocket… thanks to Talk With Web Visitor.

    Talk With Web Visitor is a software widget that sits on your site, ready and waiting to capture any visitor’s Name, Email address and Phone Number. It lets you know immediately – so you can talk to that lead immediately… without delay… BEFORE they head for those hills.

    CLICK HERE https://talkwithwebvisitors.com to try out a Live Demo with Talk With Web Visitor now to see exactly how it works.

    Now it’s also true that when reaching out to hot leads, you MUST act fast – the difference between contacting someone within 5 minutes versus 30 minutes later is huge – like 100 times better!

    That’s what makes our new SMS Text With Lead feature so powerful… you’ve got their phone number, so now you can start a text message (SMS) conversation with them… so even if they don’t take you up on your offer right away, you continue to text them new offers, new content, and new reasons to do business with you.

    This could change everything for you and your business.

    CLICK HERE https://talkwithwebvisitors.com to learn more about everything Talk With Web Visitor can do and start turing eyeballs into money.

    Eric
    PS: Talk With Web Visitor offers a FREE 14 days trial – you could be converting up to 100x more leads immediately!
    It even includes International Long Distance Calling.
    Paying customers are out there waiting.
    Starting connecting today by CLICKING HERE https://talkwithwebvisitors.com to try Talk With Web Visitor now.

    If you’d like to unsubscribe click here http://talkwithwebvisitors.com/unsubscribe.aspx?d=thebacheloruncle.com

  3. Hey, my name’s Eric and for just a second, imagine this…

    – Someone does a search and winds up at thebacheloruncle.com.

    – They hang out for a minute to check it out. “I’m interested… but… maybe…”

    – And then they hit the back button and check out the other search results instead.

    – Bottom line – you got an eyeball, but nothing else to show for it.

    – There they go.

    This isn’t really your fault – it happens a LOT – studies show 7 out of 10 visitors to any site disappear without leaving a trace.

    But you CAN fix that.

    Talk With Web Visitor is a software widget that’s works on your site, ready to capture any visitor’s Name, Email address and Phone Number. It lets you know right then and there – enabling you to call that lead while they’re literally looking over your site.

    CLICK HERE http://talkwithcustomer.com to try out a Live Demo with Talk With Web Visitor now to see exactly how it works.

    Time is money when it comes to connecting with leads – the difference between contacting someone within 5 minutes versus 30 minutes later can be huge – like 100 times better!

    Plus, now that you have their phone number, with our new SMS Text With Lead feature you can automatically start a text (SMS) conversation… so even if you don’t close a deal then, you can follow up with text messages for new offers, content links, even just “how you doing?” notes to build a relationship.

    Strong stuff.

    CLICK HERE http://talkwithcustomer.com to discover what Talk With Web Visitor can do for your business.

    You could be converting up to 100X more leads today!

    Eric
    PS: Talk With Web Visitor offers a FREE 14 days trial – and it even includes International Long Distance Calling.
    You have customers waiting to talk with you right now… don’t keep them waiting.
    CLICK HERE http://talkwithcustomer.com to try Talk With Web Visitor now.

    If you’d like to unsubscribe click here http://talkwithcustomer.com/unsubscribe.aspx?d=thebacheloruncle.com

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