Round Bed Roundup

Life is like a circle, man. It begins where it ends, man. Far out.

Why are round beds seen as a sexual thing? Are they too ostentatious? Are they too obvious and overt? Do people think round beds are skeevy? Where do you even buy sheets for these things? Why am I writing only questions?

Round beds have an interesting history, especially in film. Directors use round beds as a shortcut to say “This dude likes to fuck”. I feel like most people only interact with a round bed in films and it’s always quite the sexual stereotype.

Remember when Austin Powers quotes were cool?

A round bed is an interesting focal point of a room. The difference between your 20’s and your 30’s is primarily indicated by the position of your bed. In your 20’s, your bed is in the corner of the room. In your 30’s, it’s in the middle of a wall.

Round beds demand to be in the middle of the room. They do not blend in with other furniture. I also find them to be aesthetically pleasing. Soft curves and the absence of edges make them particularly sensual and playful. All of the best things in life are basically circles. Boobs, butts, UFO’s, crisp green grapes, BeyBlades. Whatever.

This square room has a lot of curves. And look at that! The bed is fully on that rug! I’m so proud of them.

Do I think everyone should have a round bed? No. But I think it should be considered more than it is. I think it shouldn’t be seen as a kinky joke or a wink-and-nod. I love the way a round bed elevates a bedroom from a utilitarian place to sleep to a room where events take place.

You’re probably not a round bed person. I get it.

But I am. 😉

Please ignore my water bottles and nebulizer. This round leather bed has a normal square mattress but look how it fills my old apartment bedroom.

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