Geometric Pendant Lamps – WTF Wednesday

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Some design trends blow up so quickly and then fizzle before you know it. The geometric pendant lamp came out of nowhere a few years ago. Some interior design lamp maker was like “Remember early video game graphics like Battlezone? Let’s make that people’s lamps!” and thus, the geometric pendant lamp was born.

I feel like this was made by someone who doesn’t understand how lamps work. The point of the lamp shade is to diffuse the light around the room creating a uniform pleasant lighting source to hang out under.

This room is lit by table lamps and can lights. But someone put a huge stupid light fixture in the middle of this room and then shoved a 5 watt bulb in there because they’re mad at their dad.

These stupid things cast thick shadows on the wall and make you squint at a bare light bulb. OR, you have to put such a low wattage bulb in there, that they don’t actually do the job of lighting up the room.

Normally I’d be all about incorporating Playstation 1 style graphics inside your home. Slap some low-poly shapes all over the place and live out a life that isn’t just solid, it’s metal gear solid. But, these things miss the point.

Ever look at a room and realize you just hate the person who lives there? Like you want them to choke on a mall pretzel and die in front of Forever 21? No? Just me? Ok.

There are things that are beautiful for the sake of being beautiful. There are things that are beautiful because they’re functional, and their functional shape creates an inherent beauty. Then there’s geometric pendant lamps, where they compromise on functionality and render the design less beautiful because of how stupid it is.

If you want wire frame geometric shapes in your space (I can get behind that decor choice), cool, get some art and some knick-knacks that support that look. But to render your lamps functionally useless because you’re a goofball following a dumbass trend? Miss me with that, fam.

I guess these were supposed to fit in with a modern mid-century inspired decor, but just like sea urchin wall art, it doesn’t matter how gold or brass you make them. They’re not of the era. They’re not cool. They’re dumb. If you spent hundreds of dollars putting these in your house? I’m sorry about your luck.

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