Before AI powered algorithms. Before the clashing interests of social media presentation. Before we all became a cluster of data sets and keywords to market to, there was a naive hope and promise to the computer world. These were luxury items, barely able to function, clinging to the bleeding edge of technology. They were sold … Read moreEmpty Promises
People (like myself) romanticize vintage computing because it felt magical and full of purpose and potential. There was a certain creakiness to the jank operating systems and questionable hardware. CD Rom drives would click, whir, buzz and vibrate in ways that made you fear for the health of your computer. The hard drives would chatter … Read moreThe Sounds of Obsolescence
So before I started this blog, I would do sociological reviews of vintage computers on YouTube and I’ve had a lot of fun making them. The last few months however, Bachelor Uncle has been getting all of my attention. I try to make these videos once a month, which is awful for the YouTube algorithm … Read moreI Review Vintage Computers on YouTube
In olden times, TVs were extravagant purchases. People wanted them to look nice. So even when they were off, they looked like nice pieces of furniture. They had heavy metal knobs, beautiful cabinetry, and nice speakers. They were beautiful objects on par with the rest of your furniture. Since then we don’t know what the … Read moreSamsung Is Weird, And That’s Good – Bachelor Uncle Brands
Bang & Olufsen has to be run exclusively by Bachelor Uncles. Their designs are elegant and modern, but they are out there. Their obsession with glass, steel and wood fits in great with contemporary and mid century architecture, but they do not have soft lines. They really understand that a device should look good when … Read moreBachelor Uncle Brands – Bang & Olufsen
Lester Gaba is nuts. But he’s my kind of nuts. Lester was a weird man. A profoundly strange man. But like a lot of strange men, he had very particular tastes and the gumption to turn them into something. But old creepface up there decided that he would craft himself the hottest, best, and most … Read moreLester Gaba – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
There is a lot of romanticism of the past. I wonder if it was just as hard to find unique and colorful pieces back then, but archival evidence says it’s not. In Sears catalogs and local show rooms, there were dozens of color options for everything ranging from couches to refrigerators. Every brand had it’s … Read moreMonoculture – The Crushing Death of Everything, Part 1
Look, not all of us grew up on a farm or fucking our sisters. Pickup trucks are incredibly useful vehicles but they come with huge connotations that I don’t subscribe to. I don’t like steak, so odds are I’m not going to want to drive a car that looks like I eat meat to spite … Read moreFuck You. The Cybertruck Is Amazing. Fight me.
Arcades are a very Bachelor Uncle kind of place. The arcades of old were dark, dangerous little dens of inequity where 20 something scumbags ruled the roost. In my hometown we had an arcade in the mall full of ridiculous games like Primal Rage and WarGods. If there was a shitty fighting game, this arcade … Read moreMarvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum – WTF Wednesday
Todd’s Astro Van always needed a few minutes to warm up after a long shift at the video arcade. The engine roared to life like a tiger, but loped along like a narcoleptic three legged dog as it idled. The interior smelled like a poorly tuned boat on the first day of spring. He pushed … Read moreA Day of Nothing: A Bachelor Uncle Micro-Story
Larry Laffer is a scuzzball. No doubt about it. But he’s got what it takes to be a Bachelor Uncle. He’s definitely on his second act, trying to get his life back together. Is he going through a mid-life crisis? Maybe. I like to think that Larry is just trying to tap into his inner … Read moreLarry Laffer – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Disney owns everything now. They own Marvel. They own Star Wars. They own the Muppets. Disney has everything and it kind of sucks. Science fiction used to be a fantastical place, full of wonder and magic. It was creative and colorful and fantastic. Look at this guys house. He’s got an ultra-wide TV, with a … Read morePaul Alexander – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Logan’s run is one of the most R-rated PG movies ever made. Nudity? CheckViolence? CheckDrugs? CheckCoked out Farrah Fawcett? Cheeeeeeeeck. Now, I know what you’re going to say “But Jack, Logan 5 is a Cop!” You’re correct – he is a cop at the beginning of this movie. It’s unfortunate. Bachelor Uncles by nature are … Read moreLogan 5 – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
If I lived in Yugoslavia in the 1980’s you better believe I’d be subscribed to this magazine. This is everything I could ever hope for. I wish there was something similar in this day and age. Beautiful women and bleeding-edge technology dripping with style. I have no idea who could afford a computer in Yugoslavia, … Read moreComputers.