Before AI powered algorithms. Before the clashing interests of social media presentation. Before we all became a cluster of data sets and keywords to market to, there was a naive hope and promise to the computer world. These were luxury items, barely able to function, clinging to the bleeding edge of technology. They were sold … Read moreEmpty Promises
People (like myself) romanticize vintage computing because it felt magical and full of purpose and potential. There was a certain creakiness to the jank operating systems and questionable hardware. CD Rom drives would click, whir, buzz and vibrate in ways that made you fear for the health of your computer. The hard drives would chatter … Read moreThe Sounds of Obsolescence
Comic books were big in the ’90s. It was probably their last real heyday. I know, comic book movies are all the rage today, but the last time comic books were a huge phenomenon was in the early ’90s. It was a crazy time for the industry where dipshits like Rob Liefeld were seen as … Read moreFuck You Marvel Comics
I’ve been thinking a lot about how my life has changed since the Great Recession. I’ve been putting a lot of thought into things like wealth, money, poverty and class. And make no mistake, regardless of how much money you have (or don’t have) it impacts your lifestyle and your options. But when you’re broke, … Read moreThe Isolation of Poverty
Bachelor Uncle turns 1 year old this month. Wow! Time flies. I’ve had so much fun writing this blog and today we’re going to introduce a new feature that will show up regularly on here. It’s called “The Aesthetic Perfection of” series where I will dissect a particular topic, movie, TV show, whatever, and really … Read moreThe Aesthetic Perfection of: Vintage Porn (NSFW)
I’m in Vegas for the weekend but what better time that the present to start my new career as a food blogger. My girlfriend and I rolled into town way late on Valentine’s Day due to a fatal accident on the US-93. So finding a good place to eat before hitting up the Neon Museum … Read moreMarrakech Las Vegas: Bachelor Uncle Food Review
Before America was a thing or a thought – settlers and colonizers clung to life in the frigid wilds of the Hudson Highlands. A beautiful little alcove just north of the great metropolis, split in half by a mighty unforgiving river. Before America was a thing or a thought – people built wondrous lives together … Read moreThe Last King of the Hudson Highlands
Final Fantasy XIV is a weird game. It’s an MMORPG with a strange economy. Almost everything is worthless. It’s barely worth collecting and selling items. But – you need to if you want the most important thing. Real Estate. Final Fantasy XIV has artificially limited real estate plots in each region. So on a server … Read moreDigital Gentrification – Video Games Are Too Real
Growth and maturity is not linear. When we’re kids we grow in spurts, both mentally and physically. Then, one day, we stop. All growth and maturity from that point on is a conscious active decision caused by inspiration or a reaction to trauma. We still grow in spurts, but they’re fractured painful jabs into the … Read morePrayer For Growth. Prayer For Peace.
Lester Gaba is nuts. But he’s my kind of nuts. Lester was a weird man. A profoundly strange man. But like a lot of strange men, he had very particular tastes and the gumption to turn them into something. But old creepface up there decided that he would craft himself the hottest, best, and most … Read moreLester Gaba – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
I have a friend who is a local artist. She designs sells cool witchy stuff at reasonable prices. It’s hip and usually ahead of trend, and she’s incredibly talented and driven. She’s not a huge brand, and yet even she is a victim of China’s world domination plans. Before we start this, please go visit … Read moreMonoculture Part 2- China’s Brilliant Plan For World Domination
There is a lot of romanticism of the past. I wonder if it was just as hard to find unique and colorful pieces back then, but archival evidence says it’s not. In Sears catalogs and local show rooms, there were dozens of color options for everything ranging from couches to refrigerators. Every brand had it’s … Read moreMonoculture – The Crushing Death of Everything, Part 1
Look, not all of us grew up on a farm or fucking our sisters. Pickup trucks are incredibly useful vehicles but they come with huge connotations that I don’t subscribe to. I don’t like steak, so odds are I’m not going to want to drive a car that looks like I eat meat to spite … Read moreFuck You. The Cybertruck Is Amazing. Fight me.
A lot has been written about the media’s effect on the collective female self esteem. The constant onslaught of being “not enough” or “too much” has made generations of women uncomfortable in their own bodies, all just to sell more stuff. Of late, there has been an effort to change from destructive marketing campaigns for … Read moreNon-Traditional Masculinity
Editor’s note: I have done zero research for this article. Everything I say is 100% made up and probably definitely true. Sometimes Bachelor Uncle’s have a lack of self awareness. Some people find it easy to be confident when they don’t look at themselves critically. Esteban is a giant goofball weirdo who turned a stupid … Read moreEsteban – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Hello. Stop this right now. Just stop. Go to your room. God damn it. Everyone knows what’s going on. Stop it. You don’t need to do this. There are hundreds of thousands of talented starving artists. Knock this shit off. You’re not artsy. This is all the worst things about Farmhouse. Stop it right now. … Read moreSigns for No One – WTF Wednesday
Today is a “fuck it” kind of day. It’s November. It’s getting cold. I’m annoyed and in a shitty mood. So here’s a cute fucking dog. Dog’s are the best because no matter what, they’re the best friends. They don’t offer you shitty advice or bury you with their own problems. They don’t have other … Read moreMy Dog – Mr. Feeny – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Last week we got to talk about how landlords fuck you. Today, a real estate friend of mine (Sup Tyler!), found this place in his listings and asked if I thought it was Bachelor Uncle material. And the answer is yes with an asterisk. I have friends who live in New York and California who … Read moreLandlord Fuckery: A Tale of Two Shitties – WTF Wednesday
I think it’s important as we fill this blog with cool pictures and bad dick jokes, to built up an aesthetic vocabulary and sense of historical progression. Last week we talked about Art Deco (article here) and one of it’s premier architects. Today, we’re going to talk about a guy who bridged the gap between … Read moreBilly Baldwin – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
On the surface, a lot of the design tips, tricks and trends discussed in this blog only apply to homeowners. But, I’m going to make the case for why you should feel free to do whatever you want to home, regardless of the feelings of your scumbag landlord. Did you know that your apartment/rental home … Read moreFuck Your Landlord – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
Today we’re going to talk about a Bachelor Uncle if there ever was one. His name is Frank Wolfe, and his life is forever tied to this building. The Glass Bank. Let’s get it started. In 1962, some 38 year old MIT architect built this weird glass building close to where they were launching space … Read moreFrank Wolfe and the Glass Bank: A Cautionary Tale – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Detroit needs a PR team. The whole fucking city. This place has been the butt of jokes my entire life. From Eminem to Insane Clown Posse, Detroit has been portrayed as a festering cesspit of white trashiness, rampant violence, mismanaged government and urban blight. A city so shitty that buying a house here was akin … Read moreThe Opulence of Art Deco – Detroit Edition – WTF Wednesday
Fuck the term “man cave”. I hate the man cave for so many reasons. First of all, man caves seem to be part of heteroterrified bro culture. They spend all this time watching dudes in spandex play cuddleball on Sunday afternoon, but can’t tell their friends they love them. Miss me with that man cave … Read moreAn Ode to the Den – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
I’ve watched over 5 hours of documentaries on this hotboy right here, so that makes me America’s #1 foremost scholar on George Westinghouse. So let me drop some knowledge on why this guy is such a badass Bachelor Uncle. First of all, he wasn’t just some scumbag rich dude leeching off the work of others. … Read moreGeorge Westinghouse – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Are you an evil wizard who lives in a spooky castle and wants to destroy all the light in the universe? Are you trying to kill He-Man and his friends and plunge the planet into darkness and suffering? Are you Skeletor? That’s what I’m asking. If you’re Skeletor, you have to tell me. It’s the … Read moreOh God. Make It Stop. Please. No. – WTF Wednesday
Do you have a sense of humor? Do you legit wonder how you can make your room more Bachelor Uncle? Do you want me to make fun of your living room? Or praise it, if it’s worthy of praise? Maybe you want to convince your Mom that Farmhouse is fucking stupid, so you send me … Read moreShow Me Your Living Room – Submission Time!
This guy terrifies me. He’s so perfect and I love him so much that I’m terrified something terrible is going to come out about this man. The only bad thing I found about him was a picture of him with George W. Bush. It’s very strange however, because everything I have read about him is … Read moreMichael Pollack – Bachelor Uncle Of The Month
This week’s pick is pretty obvious. There’s been so many things written about Jim Henson, that there’s no possible way I could do him justice. I will however speak about one thing that I never hear discussed about his personal style. Like Iris Apfel, Jim Henson’s work tended to be very maximalist. His sets were … Read moreJim Henson – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Todd’s Astro Van always needed a few minutes to warm up after a long shift at the video arcade. The engine roared to life like a tiger, but loped along like a narcoleptic three legged dog as it idled. The interior smelled like a poorly tuned boat on the first day of spring. He pushed … Read moreA Day of Nothing: A Bachelor Uncle Micro-Story
When making a case for something, there is a trope called the “Current Year Argument” which basically means nothing. The current year argument is essentially stating the year that it is, and why something is the way it is. Like “It’s 2019, why can’t I find a new pink fridge!” Some argue that the current … Read moreHidden Monsters – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
Larry Laffer is a scuzzball. No doubt about it. But he’s got what it takes to be a Bachelor Uncle. He’s definitely on his second act, trying to get his life back together. Is he going through a mid-life crisis? Maybe. I like to think that Larry is just trying to tap into his inner … Read moreLarry Laffer – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Real talk – you don’t become a Bachelor Uncle without things having gone extremely wrong at some point in your life. There’s a reason Bachelor Uncles revel in nostalgia and pure expressions of dopamine releases. Whether it’s sex, or gadgets, or technology, or cool lamps, or the neon glow of an arcade – we yearn … Read moreSecond Acts – The Loneliness of the Bachelor Uncle
There’s a small apartment complex here in Phoenix that still carries remnants of it’s unique charm from the 1960’s. These swanky apartments were the peak of masculine modernity in their day. It’s a shame that you don’t see people designing for this kind of lifestyle anymore. Other than the cookie-cutter “urban loft”, there isn’t anything … Read moreShould Architects Be Allowed To Sue Landlords?
Disney owns everything now. They own Marvel. They own Star Wars. They own the Muppets. Disney has everything and it kind of sucks. Science fiction used to be a fantastical place, full of wonder and magic. It was creative and colorful and fantastic. Look at this guys house. He’s got an ultra-wide TV, with a … Read morePaul Alexander – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Logan’s run is one of the most R-rated PG movies ever made. Nudity? CheckViolence? CheckDrugs? CheckCoked out Farrah Fawcett? Cheeeeeeeeck. Now, I know what you’re going to say “But Jack, Logan 5 is a Cop!” You’re correct – he is a cop at the beginning of this movie. It’s unfortunate. Bachelor Uncles by nature are … Read moreLogan 5 – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Click here for the big reveal. hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahaha I love researching for this blog.
At the risk of making this blog seem like it’s too much about Uncle Rico – today we’re gonna talk about conversion vans. It’s really kind of sad that vans have gotten such a bad wrap. Every single car on the road today is some kind of cross-over SUV. They’re boring and they all look … Read moreConversion Vans
Look at this guy. When I become an aged grizzly bachelor uncle, I hope to be like this guy. In my weird house, sitting in my griffin throne playing Mechwarrior 2 on my 486 computer. Hopefully I’ll be able to find a working CRT by then. But this hotboy right here knows the joys and … Read moreWizards Are Cool
A hot tub isn’t just a place to relax – it’s a lifestyle. You have to be a certain type of person to own and use a hot tub regularly. Hot tubs are ice breakers with random people you meet in strange places. The reality is this – on a long enough timeline, you’re going … Read moreHot Tub Lifestyle