Interior Design

This was a mansion in California that never sold. It was like 6 million dollars. Eventually it was purchased by some guy who demolished it. Just tore down this beautiful (though dated) home. My aunt in Florida recently redid her kitchen and ripped out a really cool old fluorescent light fixture because it looked dated. … Read moreThe Dream of the ’90s is Dead

Stop being a fucking idiot. Jesus Christ. Buy a fucking lamp. Buy two lamps. Start a fire. Burn down your house. I’m sick of walking into people’s living rooms and having the ceiling fan as the only light source. Did your aunt die and her last wish was that you look poor forever? Seriously – … Read moreStop Lighting Your Room With a Ceiling Fan

Plus some other other images that aren’t glass block but make me want to eat a pizza and watch the USA Original Series Highlander starring Adrian Paul.

So the other day, a reader and hotboy Nick Shelby sent me a message on Facebook and wanted to show me his sweet new score of a perfect MCM table and chair set. Of course I approved because Mr. Shelby recently bought a house in Tucson by famed architect Tom Gist. It’s one of Tom’s … Read moreRespect Your Architecture – Bachelor Uncle Sunday

That’s it. That’s all I really wanted to say. Granite countertops look terrible and have always looked terrible. They look like someone shellac’d a granola bar and started using it in Tuscan inspired kitchens. But because it’s Sunday, and I feel I should say more. I will. But really, the entire point of this article … Read moreGranite Countertops Look Like Granola Bars

I live in Arizona, and yet, for a long time it seemed every house had a fireplace. It was a weird anomaly. A quirk of the MLS system. When people are searching for a home, they would select “Has Fireplace” and so there were many amazing houses without fireplaces that got ignored. I think homes … Read moreThere’s No Place For A Fireplace

Today we’re going to talk about things you can do with your walls. I keep saying “Down with the white wall” for a reason. I’m so fucking sick of white walls. In an effort to practice what I preach, I will be doing something with my walls soon, but until then, let’s throw some love … Read moreDo Anything Else – Walls Edition

In a few years, we’ll never remember that this micro-trend ever happened. It will be lost to time the way HitClipz or the Chumby was. A flash in the pan, that never amounted to much and was gone before anyone noticed. If you want to talk about the waste of a modern civilization – hexagon … Read moreHexagon Shelves – WTF Wednesday

Some of my earliest memories of being aware of interior design revolve around Memphis style. Featured heavily in the set design of Pee Wee’s Playhouse, this design language was loud, colorful and other-worldly. Saved by the Bell used Memphis in much the same way that Pee Wee did. It was a way to create a … Read moreI Love Memphis Even Though It’s Stupid And Because It’s Stupid

Some design trends blow up so quickly and then fizzle before you know it. The geometric pendant lamp came out of nowhere a few years ago. Some interior design lamp maker was like “Remember early video game graphics like Battlezone? Let’s make that people’s lamps!” and thus, the geometric pendant lamp was born. I feel … Read moreGeometric Pendant Lamps – WTF Wednesday

On a long enough timeline, words stop making sense. Farmhouse style, or Farmhouse Decor or whatever you want to call it doesn’t make sense. It’s completely devoid of context and just seems to be a name for “contemporary” with shitty couches and interior barn doors. Let’s dive in. In the ’80s movie, Baby Boom, starring … Read moreYou Don’t Live On A Farm – Bachelor Uncle Sunday

On this episode of, “Stop buying shit at Home Goods, Gretchen. You can’t fill that hole in your heart with home decor. Brad is sleeping with his best friend Howard, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can start living, laughing and learning to love again.” – we have this ridiculous metaphor of … Read moreWTF Wednesday – Wood Balls In A Basket

Human beings are born naked, did you know that? You probably forgot cuz it was a really busy time when you were being born, but, it’s true. I’m also, like, 100% sure you were created by people getting naked and bumping uglies. That means, before you ever suck in any air, everything about you is … Read moreErotic Art is a Yes. Don’t Be Scared of Dicks, Dude.

I’m going to blame Nate Berkus. Do I know it’s his fault? No. Do I know if he ever made these weird wall barnacles? Nope. But I’m gonna blame him anyway. (Editors Note: I googled this guy and, sure enough, I found this picture.) Somewhere around 2012, these things started popping up in Targets and … Read moreWTF Wednesday – Sea Urchin Wall Art?

Hey Kids. Wanna go to the mall and eat over priced mozzarella sticks while a broken animatronic gorilla screams at you? FUCK YEAH! It’s time for the Rainforest Cafe! Do you love eating reheated frozen food in a room that smells like a public pool? Does the idea of chowing down on some freezer burned … Read moreThe Rainforest Cafe – An Aesthetic Choice

I’m not sure if it’s just the vaporwave aesthetic, or if the promises of the cyberpunk novels of William Gibson are just slowly coming true as we approach the year 2050 – but neon is back, baby. There was a brief moment in the ’80s where people were using neon in interior decorating, but it’s … Read moreNeon is Having a Moment – Bachelor Uncle Sunday

I love writing titles like the one above because it makes it seem like I know what I’m talking about. Let me be clear – I don’t. I’m not a scholar. I’m a dude who’s pissed off about the lifelessness of modern interior design. My whole life I’ve been attracted to things that people think … Read moreIntro to Art Deco, Vol. 1

Yeah dude. Bachelor Uncles can be girls too. They can be whatever the fuck they want to be. It’s 2019, just because I love a good Eames chair from the 1960’s doesn’t mean my gender politics are stuck back there. Fuck man, there’s very few redeemable things left back in the ’60s anyway. The Boomers … Read moreIris Apfel – Bachelor Uncle Of The Week

Why are round beds seen as a sexual thing? Are they too ostentatious? Are they too obvious and overt? Do people think round beds are skeevy? Where do you even buy sheets for these things? Why am I writing only questions? Round beds have an interesting history, especially in film. Directors use round beds as … Read moreRound Bed Roundup

Let’s face it – The fact that we deny sexuality in our interior design seems really strange. So much of what we do from the age of puberty on up is to attract mates and have sex. From our careers, choice in cars, choice in clothing, choice of makeup or working out – we’re all … Read moreDesigned for Sex

There used to be a serious premium placed on conversation in the interior design of the past. Conversation pits. Conversation Couches. Booths. Etc. I can imagine just piling into these booths with all kinds of never-do-wells and laughing all night. Carpet used to be a textural element that aided in said conversation. It acted to … Read moreCircles Serve A Purpose