Please Give Me 6 Million Dollars
This was a mansion in California that never sold. It was like 6 million dollars. Eventually it was purchased by some guy who demolished it. Just tore down this beautiful (though dated) home. My aunt in Florida recently redid her kitchen and ripped out a really cool old fluorescent light fixture because it looked dated. … Read moreThe Dream of the ’90s is Dead
Stop being a fucking idiot. Jesus Christ. Buy a fucking lamp. Buy two lamps. Start a fire. Burn down your house. I’m sick of walking into people’s living rooms and having the ceiling fan as the only light source. Did your aunt die and her last wish was that you look poor forever? Seriously – … Read moreStop Lighting Your Room With a Ceiling Fan
Plus some other other images that aren’t glass block but make me want to eat a pizza and watch the USA Original Series Highlander starring Adrian Paul.
In olden times, TVs were extravagant purchases. People wanted them to look nice. So even when they were off, they looked like nice pieces of furniture. They had heavy metal knobs, beautiful cabinetry, and nice speakers. They were beautiful objects on par with the rest of your furniture. Since then we don’t know what the … Read moreSamsung Is Weird, And That’s Good – Bachelor Uncle Brands
So the other day, a reader and hotboy Nick Shelby sent me a message on Facebook and wanted to show me his sweet new score of a perfect MCM table and chair set. Of course I approved because Mr. Shelby recently bought a house in Tucson by famed architect Tom Gist. It’s one of Tom’s … Read moreRespect Your Architecture – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
It’s almost Christmas time. I have no real desire to do much with that information. I just wanted to share some pictures with you that bring me joy and fill me with warmth and longing. But please listen to this Vaporwave Christmas mix. It’s been one of my favorite for a few years.
Bang & Olufsen has to be run exclusively by Bachelor Uncles. Their designs are elegant and modern, but they are out there. Their obsession with glass, steel and wood fits in great with contemporary and mid century architecture, but they do not have soft lines. They really understand that a device should look good when … Read moreBachelor Uncle Brands – Bang & Olufsen
That’s it. That’s all I really wanted to say. Granite countertops look terrible and have always looked terrible. They look like someone shellac’d a granola bar and started using it in Tuscan inspired kitchens. But because it’s Sunday, and I feel I should say more. I will. But really, the entire point of this article … Read moreGranite Countertops Look Like Granola Bars
There is a lot of romanticism of the past. I wonder if it was just as hard to find unique and colorful pieces back then, but archival evidence says it’s not. In Sears catalogs and local show rooms, there were dozens of color options for everything ranging from couches to refrigerators. Every brand had it’s … Read moreMonoculture – The Crushing Death of Everything, Part 1
I live in Arizona, and yet, for a long time it seemed every house had a fireplace. It was a weird anomaly. A quirk of the MLS system. When people are searching for a home, they would select “Has Fireplace” and so there were many amazing houses without fireplaces that got ignored. I think homes … Read moreThere’s No Place For A Fireplace
Before this became a blog, it was just me posting pics on my Facebook page. This Sunday, I’m going to just embed a cool song played on an underrated synth, and some pics I’ve collected over the past few months. Hit play on the following video and listen as you scroll through some sweet pictures. … Read moreCool Vibes – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
Hello. Stop this right now. Just stop. Go to your room. God damn it. Everyone knows what’s going on. Stop it. You don’t need to do this. There are hundreds of thousands of talented starving artists. Knock this shit off. You’re not artsy. This is all the worst things about Farmhouse. Stop it right now. … Read moreSigns for No One – WTF Wednesday
Last week we got to talk about how landlords fuck you. Today, a real estate friend of mine (Sup Tyler!), found this place in his listings and asked if I thought it was Bachelor Uncle material. And the answer is yes with an asterisk. I have friends who live in New York and California who … Read moreLandlord Fuckery: A Tale of Two Shitties – WTF Wednesday
Today we’re going to talk about things you can do with your walls. I keep saying “Down with the white wall” for a reason. I’m so fucking sick of white walls. In an effort to practice what I preach, I will be doing something with my walls soon, but until then, let’s throw some love … Read moreDo Anything Else – Walls Edition
I think it’s important as we fill this blog with cool pictures and bad dick jokes, to built up an aesthetic vocabulary and sense of historical progression. Last week we talked about Art Deco (article here) and one of it’s premier architects. Today, we’re going to talk about a guy who bridged the gap between … Read moreBilly Baldwin – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
In a few years, we’ll never remember that this micro-trend ever happened. It will be lost to time the way HitClipz or the Chumby was. A flash in the pan, that never amounted to much and was gone before anyone noticed. If you want to talk about the waste of a modern civilization – hexagon … Read moreHexagon Shelves – WTF Wednesday
On the surface, a lot of the design tips, tricks and trends discussed in this blog only apply to homeowners. But, I’m going to make the case for why you should feel free to do whatever you want to home, regardless of the feelings of your scumbag landlord. Did you know that your apartment/rental home … Read moreFuck Your Landlord – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
Today we’re going to talk about a Bachelor Uncle if there ever was one. His name is Frank Wolfe, and his life is forever tied to this building. The Glass Bank. Let’s get it started. In 1962, some 38 year old MIT architect built this weird glass building close to where they were launching space … Read moreFrank Wolfe and the Glass Bank: A Cautionary Tale – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Detroit needs a PR team. The whole fucking city. This place has been the butt of jokes my entire life. From Eminem to Insane Clown Posse, Detroit has been portrayed as a festering cesspit of white trashiness, rampant violence, mismanaged government and urban blight. A city so shitty that buying a house here was akin … Read moreThe Opulence of Art Deco – Detroit Edition – WTF Wednesday
Fuck the term “man cave”. I hate the man cave for so many reasons. First of all, man caves seem to be part of heteroterrified bro culture. They spend all this time watching dudes in spandex play cuddleball on Sunday afternoon, but can’t tell their friends they love them. Miss me with that man cave … Read moreAn Ode to the Den – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
Are you an evil wizard who lives in a spooky castle and wants to destroy all the light in the universe? Are you trying to kill He-Man and his friends and plunge the planet into darkness and suffering? Are you Skeletor? That’s what I’m asking. If you’re Skeletor, you have to tell me. It’s the … Read moreOh God. Make It Stop. Please. No. – WTF Wednesday
Do you have a sense of humor? Do you legit wonder how you can make your room more Bachelor Uncle? Do you want me to make fun of your living room? Or praise it, if it’s worthy of praise? Maybe you want to convince your Mom that Farmhouse is fucking stupid, so you send me … Read moreShow Me Your Living Room – Submission Time!
Some of my earliest memories of being aware of interior design revolve around Memphis style. Featured heavily in the set design of Pee Wee’s Playhouse, this design language was loud, colorful and other-worldly. Saved by the Bell used Memphis in much the same way that Pee Wee did. It was a way to create a … Read moreI Love Memphis Even Though It’s Stupid And Because It’s Stupid
Some design trends blow up so quickly and then fizzle before you know it. The geometric pendant lamp came out of nowhere a few years ago. Some interior design lamp maker was like “Remember early video game graphics like Battlezone? Let’s make that people’s lamps!” and thus, the geometric pendant lamp was born. I feel … Read moreGeometric Pendant Lamps – WTF Wednesday
Today’s post is just going to be some cool images of pink interiors. I really want to live in each of these spaces. I don’t think we use pink enough in interior decorating. I know it was overused in the ’40s and ’50s, but it’s overdue for a come back. So please enjoy these curated … Read morePink Is A Masculine Color
On a long enough timeline, words stop making sense. Farmhouse style, or Farmhouse Decor or whatever you want to call it doesn’t make sense. It’s completely devoid of context and just seems to be a name for “contemporary” with shitty couches and interior barn doors. Let’s dive in. In the ’80s movie, Baby Boom, starring … Read moreYou Don’t Live On A Farm – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
This week’s pick is pretty obvious. There’s been so many things written about Jim Henson, that there’s no possible way I could do him justice. I will however speak about one thing that I never hear discussed about his personal style. Like Iris Apfel, Jim Henson’s work tended to be very maximalist. His sets were … Read moreJim Henson – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
On this episode of, “Stop buying shit at Home Goods, Gretchen. You can’t fill that hole in your heart with home decor. Brad is sleeping with his best friend Howard, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can start living, laughing and learning to love again.” – we have this ridiculous metaphor of … Read moreWTF Wednesday – Wood Balls In A Basket
Human beings are born naked, did you know that? You probably forgot cuz it was a really busy time when you were being born, but, it’s true. I’m also, like, 100% sure you were created by people getting naked and bumping uglies. That means, before you ever suck in any air, everything about you is … Read moreErotic Art is a Yes. Don’t Be Scared of Dicks, Dude.
I’m going to blame Nate Berkus. Do I know it’s his fault? No. Do I know if he ever made these weird wall barnacles? Nope. But I’m gonna blame him anyway. (Editors Note: I googled this guy and, sure enough, I found this picture.) Somewhere around 2012, these things started popping up in Targets and … Read moreWTF Wednesday – Sea Urchin Wall Art?
Hey Kids. Wanna go to the mall and eat over priced mozzarella sticks while a broken animatronic gorilla screams at you? FUCK YEAH! It’s time for the Rainforest Cafe! Do you love eating reheated frozen food in a room that smells like a public pool? Does the idea of chowing down on some freezer burned … Read moreThe Rainforest Cafe – An Aesthetic Choice
I’m not sure if it’s just the vaporwave aesthetic, or if the promises of the cyberpunk novels of William Gibson are just slowly coming true as we approach the year 2050 – but neon is back, baby. There was a brief moment in the ’80s where people were using neon in interior decorating, but it’s … Read moreNeon is Having a Moment – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
I love writing titles like the one above because it makes it seem like I know what I’m talking about. Let me be clear – I don’t. I’m not a scholar. I’m a dude who’s pissed off about the lifelessness of modern interior design. My whole life I’ve been attracted to things that people think … Read moreIntro to Art Deco, Vol. 1
Yeah dude. Bachelor Uncles can be girls too. They can be whatever the fuck they want to be. It’s 2019, just because I love a good Eames chair from the 1960’s doesn’t mean my gender politics are stuck back there. Fuck man, there’s very few redeemable things left back in the ’60s anyway. The Boomers … Read moreIris Apfel – Bachelor Uncle Of The Week
Why are round beds seen as a sexual thing? Are they too ostentatious? Are they too obvious and overt? Do people think round beds are skeevy? Where do you even buy sheets for these things? Why am I writing only questions? Round beds have an interesting history, especially in film. Directors use round beds as … Read moreRound Bed Roundup
I read somewhere that American’s don’t know how to rug. Like at all. We buy undersized rugs and it makes our rooms seem weird. Did you know that your furniture is supposed to be completely on your rugs? I bet you didn’t. There’s this terrible advice that someone posted on a GeoCities site in 1997 … Read moreDo You Even Rug, Bro? In Praise of Momeni
There’s a small apartment complex here in Phoenix that still carries remnants of it’s unique charm from the 1960’s. These swanky apartments were the peak of masculine modernity in their day. It’s a shame that you don’t see people designing for this kind of lifestyle anymore. Other than the cookie-cutter “urban loft”, there isn’t anything … Read moreShould Architects Be Allowed To Sue Landlords?
Oh boy. Yesterday I received an email that made me so unbelievably angry that I had to share it with the 7 people that read this blog. Before I get into it, please don’t harass anyone, please take this with the tongue-in-cheek tone that it is intended. But fuck this shit! HGTV is the Fox … Read moreStop Listening to Realtors.
Can you believe that one of the greatest architectural elements ever invented has fallen out of style because people are too lazy to walk correctly in their house? It’s true. People view sunken living rooms as tripping hazards. If you google “sunken living room” you’ll find a bunch of posts of people asking how to … Read moreThe Sunken Living Room
Everybody poops. This is a fact of life. Bathrooms are for more than just bathing. It’s a great place to relax and spend time. Most people personalize of a bathroom with a fancy shower curtain, or a funky soap dish. But it doesn’t have to be that simple or boring. Put some thought into the … Read moreBathing Uncle Stylez
Current design trends are rife with minimalist designs. Marie Kondo is a scourge of locusts that has descended upon the landscape that is personal expression. “Hold your objects and see if they spark joy, and if not, throw it out.” Pardon my french, but, Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Nothing offends me more than this desire … Read moreVintage Minimalism – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
Logan’s run is one of the most R-rated PG movies ever made. Nudity? CheckViolence? CheckDrugs? CheckCoked out Farrah Fawcett? Cheeeeeeeeck. Now, I know what you’re going to say “But Jack, Logan 5 is a Cop!” You’re correct – he is a cop at the beginning of this movie. It’s unfortunate. Bachelor Uncles by nature are … Read moreLogan 5 – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Let’s face it – The fact that we deny sexuality in our interior design seems really strange. So much of what we do from the age of puberty on up is to attract mates and have sex. From our careers, choice in cars, choice in clothing, choice of makeup or working out – we’re all … Read moreDesigned for Sex
Look at this guy. When I become an aged grizzly bachelor uncle, I hope to be like this guy. In my weird house, sitting in my griffin throne playing Mechwarrior 2 on my 486 computer. Hopefully I’ll be able to find a working CRT by then. But this hotboy right here knows the joys and … Read moreWizards Are Cool
One of my favorite interior designers is David Synder. I found this image in his book “Epoustouflant” which means “I’m a pretentious asshole but at least I know what I’m doing.” I like spaces with color – but clearly this space is monochromatic. This is a lot of green. No one will walk into this … Read moreIf Shrek was a Millionaire.
There used to be a serious premium placed on conversation in the interior design of the past. Conversation pits. Conversation Couches. Booths. Etc. I can imagine just piling into these booths with all kinds of never-do-wells and laughing all night. Carpet used to be a textural element that aided in said conversation. It acted to … Read moreCircles Serve A Purpose
Today we’re going to stay in the ’80s, but the bachelor uncle aesthetic overlaps about 4 decades. Mid century modern late ’60s stuff into the early ’90s make up the core of the vibe. Not everything from those decades. Only certain things. Since the ’60s, we’ve had amazing advancements in technology and manufacturing, but style … Read moreThe Loss of Choice