The Aesthetic Perfection of: Vintage Porn (NSFW)

Bachelor Uncle turns 1 year old this month. Wow! Time flies. I’ve had so much fun writing this blog and today we’re going to introduce a new feature that will show up regularly on here. It’s called “The Aesthetic Perfection of” series where I will dissect a particular topic, movie, TV show, whatever, and really … Read moreThe Aesthetic Perfection of: Vintage Porn (NSFW)

Digital Gentrification – Video Games Are Too Real

Final Fantasy XIV is a weird game. It’s an MMORPG with a strange economy. Almost everything is worthless. It’s barely worth collecting and selling items. But – you need to if you want the most important thing. Real Estate. Final Fantasy XIV has artificially limited real estate plots in each region. So on a server … Read moreDigital Gentrification – Video Games Are Too Real

Samsung Is Weird, And That’s Good – Bachelor Uncle Brands

In olden times, TVs were extravagant purchases. People wanted them to look nice. So even when they were off, they looked like nice pieces of furniture. They had heavy metal knobs, beautiful cabinetry, and nice speakers. They were beautiful objects on par with the rest of your furniture. Since then we don’t know what the … Read moreSamsung Is Weird, And That’s Good – Bachelor Uncle Brands

Bachelor Uncle Brands – Bang & Olufsen

Bang & Olufsen has to be run exclusively by Bachelor Uncles. Their designs are elegant and modern, but they are out there. Their obsession with glass, steel and wood fits in great with contemporary and mid century architecture, but they do not have soft lines. They really understand that a device should look good when … Read moreBachelor Uncle Brands – Bang & Olufsen

Lester Gaba – Bachelor Uncle of the Week

Lester Gaba is nuts. But he’s my kind of nuts. Lester was a weird man. A profoundly strange man. But like a lot of strange men, he had very particular tastes and the gumption to turn them into something. But old creepface up there decided that he would craft himself the hottest, best, and most … Read moreLester Gaba – Bachelor Uncle of the Week

Granite Countertops Look Like Granola Bars

That’s it. That’s all I really wanted to say. Granite countertops look terrible and have always looked terrible. They look like someone shellac’d a granola bar and started using it in Tuscan inspired kitchens. But because it’s Sunday, and I feel I should say more. I will. But really, the entire point of this article … Read moreGranite Countertops Look Like Granola Bars

Monoculture Part 2- China’s Brilliant Plan For World Domination

I have a friend who is a local artist. She designs sells cool witchy stuff at reasonable prices. It’s hip and usually ahead of trend, and she’s incredibly talented and driven. She’s not a huge brand, and yet even she is a victim of China’s world domination plans. Before we start this, please go visit … Read moreMonoculture Part 2- China’s Brilliant Plan For World Domination

Monoculture – The Crushing Death of Everything, Part 1

There is a lot of romanticism of the past. I wonder if it was just as hard to find unique and colorful pieces back then, but archival evidence says it’s not. In Sears catalogs and local show rooms, there were dozens of color options for everything ranging from couches to refrigerators. Every brand had it’s … Read moreMonoculture – The Crushing Death of Everything, Part 1

Marvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum – WTF Wednesday

Arcades are a very Bachelor Uncle kind of place. The arcades of old were dark, dangerous little dens of inequity where 20 something scumbags ruled the roost. In my hometown we had an arcade in the mall full of ridiculous games like Primal Rage and WarGods. If there was a shitty fighting game, this arcade … Read moreMarvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum – WTF Wednesday

Esteban – Bachelor Uncle of the Week

Editor’s note: I have done zero research for this article. Everything I say is 100% made up and probably definitely true. Sometimes Bachelor Uncle’s have a lack of self awareness. Some people find it easy to be confident when they don’t look at themselves critically. Esteban is a giant goofball weirdo who turned a stupid … Read moreEsteban – Bachelor Uncle of the Week

My Dog – Mr. Feeny – Bachelor Uncle of the Week

Today is a “fuck it” kind of day. It’s November. It’s getting cold. I’m annoyed and in a shitty mood. So here’s a cute fucking dog. Dog’s are the best because no matter what, they’re the best friends. They don’t offer you shitty advice or bury you with their own problems. They don’t have other … Read moreMy Dog – Mr. Feeny – Bachelor Uncle of the Week

Landlord Fuckery: A Tale of Two Shitties – WTF Wednesday

Last week we got to talk about how landlords fuck you. Today, a real estate friend of mine (Sup Tyler!), found this place in his listings and asked if I thought it was Bachelor Uncle material. And the answer is yes with an asterisk. I have friends who live in New York and California who … Read moreLandlord Fuckery: A Tale of Two Shitties – WTF Wednesday

Billy Baldwin – Bachelor Uncle of the Week

I think it’s important as we fill this blog with cool pictures and bad dick jokes, to built up an aesthetic vocabulary and sense of historical progression. Last week we talked about Art Deco (article here) and one of it’s premier architects. Today, we’re going to talk about a guy who bridged the gap between … Read moreBilly Baldwin – Bachelor Uncle of the Week

Fuck Your Landlord – Bachelor Uncle Sunday

On the surface, a lot of the design tips, tricks and trends discussed in this blog only apply to homeowners. But, I’m going to make the case for why you should feel free to do whatever you want to home, regardless of the feelings of your scumbag landlord. Did you know that your apartment/rental home … Read moreFuck Your Landlord – Bachelor Uncle Sunday

Frank Wolfe and the Glass Bank: A Cautionary Tale – Bachelor Uncle of the Week

Today we’re going to talk about a Bachelor Uncle if there ever was one. His name is Frank Wolfe, and his life is forever tied to this building. The Glass Bank. Let’s get it started. In 1962, some 38 year old MIT architect built this weird glass building close to where they were launching space … Read moreFrank Wolfe and the Glass Bank: A Cautionary Tale – Bachelor Uncle of the Week

The Opulence of Art Deco – Detroit Edition – WTF Wednesday

Detroit needs a PR team. The whole fucking city. This place has been the butt of jokes my entire life. From Eminem to Insane Clown Posse, Detroit has been portrayed as a festering cesspit of white trashiness, rampant violence, mismanaged government and urban blight. A city so shitty that buying a house here was akin … Read moreThe Opulence of Art Deco – Detroit Edition – WTF Wednesday

An Ode to the Den – Bachelor Uncle Sunday

Fuck the term “man cave”. I hate the man cave for so many reasons. First of all, man caves seem to be part of heteroterrified bro culture. They spend all this time watching dudes in spandex play cuddleball on Sunday afternoon, but can’t tell their friends they love them. Miss me with that man cave … Read moreAn Ode to the Den – Bachelor Uncle Sunday

George Westinghouse – Bachelor Uncle of the Week

I’ve watched over 5 hours of documentaries on this hotboy right here, so that makes me America’s #1 foremost scholar on George Westinghouse. So let me drop some knowledge on why this guy is such a badass Bachelor Uncle. First of all, he wasn’t just some scumbag rich dude leeching off the work of others. … Read moreGeorge Westinghouse – Bachelor Uncle of the Week

Oh God. Make It Stop. Please. No. – WTF Wednesday

Are you an evil wizard who lives in a spooky castle and wants to destroy all the light in the universe? Are you trying to kill He-Man and his friends and plunge the planet into darkness and suffering? Are you Skeletor? That’s what I’m asking. If you’re Skeletor, you have to tell me. It’s the … Read moreOh God. Make It Stop. Please. No. – WTF Wednesday

I Love Memphis Even Though It’s Stupid And Because It’s Stupid

Some of my earliest memories of being aware of interior design revolve around Memphis style. Featured heavily in the set design of Pee Wee’s Playhouse, this design language was loud, colorful and other-worldly. Saved by the Bell used Memphis in much the same way that Pee Wee did. It was a way to create a … Read moreI Love Memphis Even Though It’s Stupid And Because It’s Stupid

Geometric Pendant Lamps – WTF Wednesday

Some design trends blow up so quickly and then fizzle before you know it. The geometric pendant lamp came out of nowhere a few years ago. Some interior design lamp maker was like “Remember early video game graphics like Battlezone? Let’s make that people’s lamps!” and thus, the geometric pendant lamp was born. I feel … Read moreGeometric Pendant Lamps – WTF Wednesday

You Don’t Live On A Farm – Bachelor Uncle Sunday

On a long enough timeline, words stop making sense. Farmhouse style, or Farmhouse Decor or whatever you want to call it doesn’t make sense. It’s completely devoid of context and just seems to be a name for “contemporary” with shitty couches and interior barn doors. Let’s dive in. In the ’80s movie, Baby Boom, starring … Read moreYou Don’t Live On A Farm – Bachelor Uncle Sunday

Jim Henson – Bachelor Uncle of the Week

This week’s pick is pretty obvious. There’s been so many things written about Jim Henson, that there’s no possible way I could do him justice. I will however speak about one thing that I never hear discussed about his personal style. Like Iris Apfel, Jim Henson’s work tended to be very maximalist. His sets were … Read moreJim Henson – Bachelor Uncle of the Week

A Day of Nothing: A Bachelor Uncle Micro-Story

Todd’s Astro Van always needed a few minutes to warm up after a long shift at the video arcade. The engine roared to life like a tiger, but loped along like a narcoleptic three legged dog as it idled. The interior smelled like a poorly tuned boat on the first day of spring. He pushed … Read moreA Day of Nothing: A Bachelor Uncle Micro-Story

Erotic Art is a Yes. Don’t Be Scared of Dicks, Dude.

Human beings are born naked, did you know that? You probably forgot cuz it was a really busy time when you were being born, but, it’s true. I’m also, like, 100% sure you were created by people getting naked and bumping uglies. That means, before you ever suck in any air, everything about you is … Read moreErotic Art is a Yes. Don’t Be Scared of Dicks, Dude.

Hidden Monsters – Bachelor Uncle Sunday

When making a case for something, there is a trope called the “Current Year Argument” which basically means nothing. The current year argument is essentially stating the year that it is, and why something is the way it is. Like “It’s 2019, why can’t I find a new pink fridge!” Some argue that the current … Read moreHidden Monsters – Bachelor Uncle Sunday

Larry Laffer – Bachelor Uncle of the Week

Larry Laffer is a scuzzball. No doubt about it. But he’s got what it takes to be a Bachelor Uncle. He’s definitely on his second act, trying to get his life back together. Is he going through a mid-life crisis? Maybe. I like to think that Larry is just trying to tap into his inner … Read moreLarry Laffer – Bachelor Uncle of the Week

Neon is Having a Moment – Bachelor Uncle Sunday

I’m not sure if it’s just the vaporwave aesthetic, or if the promises of the cyberpunk novels of William Gibson are just slowly coming true as we approach the year 2050 – but neon is back, baby. There was a brief moment in the ’80s where people were using neon in interior decorating, but it’s … Read moreNeon is Having a Moment – Bachelor Uncle Sunday

Second Acts – The Loneliness of the Bachelor Uncle

Real talk – you don’t become a Bachelor Uncle without things having gone extremely wrong at some point in your life. There’s a reason Bachelor Uncles revel in nostalgia and pure expressions of dopamine releases. Whether it’s sex, or gadgets, or technology, or cool lamps, or the neon glow of an arcade – we yearn … Read moreSecond Acts – The Loneliness of the Bachelor Uncle

Do You Even Rug, Bro? In Praise of Momeni

I read somewhere that American’s don’t know how to rug. Like at all. We buy undersized rugs and it makes our rooms seem weird. Did you know that your furniture is supposed to be completely on your rugs? I bet you didn’t. There’s this terrible advice that someone posted on a GeoCities site in 1997 … Read moreDo You Even Rug, Bro? In Praise of Momeni

Should Architects Be Allowed To Sue Landlords?

There’s a small apartment complex here in Phoenix that still carries remnants of it’s unique charm from the 1960’s. These swanky apartments were the peak of masculine modernity in their day. It’s a shame that you don’t see people designing for this kind of lifestyle anymore. Other than the cookie-cutter “urban loft”, there isn’t anything … Read moreShould Architects Be Allowed To Sue Landlords?

Paul Alexander – Bachelor Uncle of the Week

Disney owns everything now. They own Marvel. They own Star Wars. They own the Muppets. Disney has everything and it kind of sucks. Science fiction used to be a fantastical place, full of wonder and magic. It was creative and colorful and fantastic. Look at this guys house. He’s got an ultra-wide TV, with a … Read morePaul Alexander – Bachelor Uncle of the Week

Stop Listening to Realtors.

Oh boy. Yesterday I received an email that made me so unbelievably angry that I had to share it with the 7 people that read this blog. Before I get into it, please don’t harass anyone, please take this with the tongue-in-cheek tone that it is intended. But fuck this shit! HGTV is the Fox … Read moreStop Listening to Realtors.

The Sunken Living Room

Can you believe that one of the greatest architectural elements ever invented has fallen out of style because people are too lazy to walk correctly in their house? It’s true. People view sunken living rooms as tripping hazards. If you google “sunken living room” you’ll find a bunch of posts of people asking how to … Read moreThe Sunken Living Room

Bathing Uncle Stylez

Everybody poops. This is a fact of life. Bathrooms are for more than just bathing. It’s a great place to relax and spend time. Most people personalize of a bathroom with a fancy shower curtain, or a funky soap dish. But it doesn’t have to be that simple or boring. Put some thought into the … Read moreBathing Uncle Stylez

Vintage Minimalism – Bachelor Uncle Sunday

Current design trends are rife with minimalist designs. Marie Kondo is a scourge of locusts that has descended upon the landscape that is personal expression. “Hold your objects and see if they spark joy, and if not, throw it out.” Pardon my french, but, Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Nothing offends me more than this desire … Read moreVintage Minimalism – Bachelor Uncle Sunday

Logan 5 – Bachelor Uncle of the Week

Logan’s run is one of the most R-rated PG movies ever made. Nudity? CheckViolence? CheckDrugs? CheckCoked out Farrah Fawcett? Cheeeeeeeeck. Now, I know what you’re going to say “But Jack, Logan 5 is a Cop!” You’re correct – he is a cop at the beginning of this movie. It’s unfortunate. Bachelor Uncles by nature are … Read moreLogan 5 – Bachelor Uncle of the Week