On a long enough timeline, words stop making sense. Farmhouse style, or Farmhouse Decor or whatever you want to call it doesn’t make sense. It’s completely devoid of context and just seems to be a name for “contemporary” with shitty couches and interior barn doors. Let’s dive in. In the ’80s movie, Baby Boom, starring … Read moreYou Don’t Live On A Farm – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
This week’s pick is pretty obvious. There’s been so many things written about Jim Henson, that there’s no possible way I could do him justice. I will however speak about one thing that I never hear discussed about his personal style. Like Iris Apfel, Jim Henson’s work tended to be very maximalist. His sets were … Read moreJim Henson – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Todd’s Astro Van always needed a few minutes to warm up after a long shift at the video arcade. The engine roared to life like a tiger, but loped along like a narcoleptic three legged dog as it idled. The interior smelled like a poorly tuned boat on the first day of spring. He pushed … Read moreA Day of Nothing: A Bachelor Uncle Micro-Story
On this episode of, “Stop buying shit at Home Goods, Gretchen. You can’t fill that hole in your heart with home decor. Brad is sleeping with his best friend Howard, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can start living, laughing and learning to love again.” – we have this ridiculous metaphor of … Read moreWTF Wednesday – Wood Balls In A Basket
Human beings are born naked, did you know that? You probably forgot cuz it was a really busy time when you were being born, but, it’s true. I’m also, like, 100% sure you were created by people getting naked and bumping uglies. That means, before you ever suck in any air, everything about you is … Read moreErotic Art is a Yes. Don’t Be Scared of Dicks, Dude.
When making a case for something, there is a trope called the “Current Year Argument” which basically means nothing. The current year argument is essentially stating the year that it is, and why something is the way it is. Like “It’s 2019, why can’t I find a new pink fridge!” Some argue that the current … Read moreHidden Monsters – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
Larry Laffer is a scuzzball. No doubt about it. But he’s got what it takes to be a Bachelor Uncle. He’s definitely on his second act, trying to get his life back together. Is he going through a mid-life crisis? Maybe. I like to think that Larry is just trying to tap into his inner … Read moreLarry Laffer – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
I’m going to blame Nate Berkus. Do I know it’s his fault? No. Do I know if he ever made these weird wall barnacles? Nope. But I’m gonna blame him anyway. (Editors Note: I googled this guy and, sure enough, I found this picture.) Somewhere around 2012, these things started popping up in Targets and … Read moreWTF Wednesday – Sea Urchin Wall Art?
Hey Kids. Wanna go to the mall and eat over priced mozzarella sticks while a broken animatronic gorilla screams at you? FUCK YEAH! It’s time for the Rainforest Cafe! Do you love eating reheated frozen food in a room that smells like a public pool? Does the idea of chowing down on some freezer burned … Read moreThe Rainforest Cafe – An Aesthetic Choice
I’m not sure if it’s just the vaporwave aesthetic, or if the promises of the cyberpunk novels of William Gibson are just slowly coming true as we approach the year 2050 – but neon is back, baby. There was a brief moment in the ’80s where people were using neon in interior decorating, but it’s … Read moreNeon is Having a Moment – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
I love writing titles like the one above because it makes it seem like I know what I’m talking about. Let me be clear – I don’t. I’m not a scholar. I’m a dude who’s pissed off about the lifelessness of modern interior design. My whole life I’ve been attracted to things that people think … Read moreIntro to Art Deco, Vol. 1
Yeah dude. Bachelor Uncles can be girls too. They can be whatever the fuck they want to be. It’s 2019, just because I love a good Eames chair from the 1960’s doesn’t mean my gender politics are stuck back there. Fuck man, there’s very few redeemable things left back in the ’60s anyway. The Boomers … Read moreIris Apfel – Bachelor Uncle Of The Week
Real talk – you don’t become a Bachelor Uncle without things having gone extremely wrong at some point in your life. There’s a reason Bachelor Uncles revel in nostalgia and pure expressions of dopamine releases. Whether it’s sex, or gadgets, or technology, or cool lamps, or the neon glow of an arcade – we yearn … Read moreSecond Acts – The Loneliness of the Bachelor Uncle
Why are round beds seen as a sexual thing? Are they too ostentatious? Are they too obvious and overt? Do people think round beds are skeevy? Where do you even buy sheets for these things? Why am I writing only questions? Round beds have an interesting history, especially in film. Directors use round beds as … Read moreRound Bed Roundup
I read somewhere that American’s don’t know how to rug. Like at all. We buy undersized rugs and it makes our rooms seem weird. Did you know that your furniture is supposed to be completely on your rugs? I bet you didn’t. There’s this terrible advice that someone posted on a GeoCities site in 1997 … Read moreDo You Even Rug, Bro? In Praise of Momeni
There’s a small apartment complex here in Phoenix that still carries remnants of it’s unique charm from the 1960’s. These swanky apartments were the peak of masculine modernity in their day. It’s a shame that you don’t see people designing for this kind of lifestyle anymore. Other than the cookie-cutter “urban loft”, there isn’t anything … Read moreShould Architects Be Allowed To Sue Landlords?
Disney owns everything now. They own Marvel. They own Star Wars. They own the Muppets. Disney has everything and it kind of sucks. Science fiction used to be a fantastical place, full of wonder and magic. It was creative and colorful and fantastic. Look at this guys house. He’s got an ultra-wide TV, with a … Read morePaul Alexander – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Oh boy. Yesterday I received an email that made me so unbelievably angry that I had to share it with the 7 people that read this blog. Before I get into it, please don’t harass anyone, please take this with the tongue-in-cheek tone that it is intended. But fuck this shit! HGTV is the Fox … Read moreStop Listening to Realtors.
Can you believe that one of the greatest architectural elements ever invented has fallen out of style because people are too lazy to walk correctly in their house? It’s true. People view sunken living rooms as tripping hazards. If you google “sunken living room” you’ll find a bunch of posts of people asking how to … Read moreThe Sunken Living Room
Everybody poops. This is a fact of life. Bathrooms are for more than just bathing. It’s a great place to relax and spend time. Most people personalize of a bathroom with a fancy shower curtain, or a funky soap dish. But it doesn’t have to be that simple or boring. Put some thought into the … Read moreBathing Uncle Stylez
Current design trends are rife with minimalist designs. Marie Kondo is a scourge of locusts that has descended upon the landscape that is personal expression. “Hold your objects and see if they spark joy, and if not, throw it out.” Pardon my french, but, Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Nothing offends me more than this desire … Read moreVintage Minimalism – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
