Before AI powered algorithms. Before the clashing interests of social media presentation. Before we all became a cluster of data sets and keywords to market to, there was a naive hope and promise to the computer world. These were luxury items, barely able to function, clinging to the bleeding edge of technology. They were sold … Read moreEmpty Promises
People (like myself) romanticize vintage computing because it felt magical and full of purpose and potential. There was a certain creakiness to the jank operating systems and questionable hardware. CD Rom drives would click, whir, buzz and vibrate in ways that made you fear for the health of your computer. The hard drives would chatter … Read moreThe Sounds of Obsolescence
Comic books were big in the ’90s. It was probably their last real heyday. I know, comic book movies are all the rage today, but the last time comic books were a huge phenomenon was in the early ’90s. It was a crazy time for the industry where dipshits like Rob Liefeld were seen as … Read moreFuck You Marvel Comics
I’ve been thinking a lot about how my life has changed since the Great Recession. I’ve been putting a lot of thought into things like wealth, money, poverty and class. And make no mistake, regardless of how much money you have (or don’t have) it impacts your lifestyle and your options. But when you’re broke, … Read moreThe Isolation of Poverty
Bachelor Uncle turns 1 year old this month. Wow! Time flies. I’ve had so much fun writing this blog and today we’re going to introduce a new feature that will show up regularly on here. It’s called “The Aesthetic Perfection of” series where I will dissect a particular topic, movie, TV show, whatever, and really … Read moreThe Aesthetic Perfection of: Vintage Porn (NSFW)
This was a mansion in California that never sold. It was like 6 million dollars. Eventually it was purchased by some guy who demolished it. Just tore down this beautiful (though dated) home. My aunt in Florida recently redid her kitchen and ripped out a really cool old fluorescent light fixture because it looked dated. … Read moreThe Dream of the ’90s is Dead
I don’t want to be a blog that posts about current events all the time. I don’t really have anything to say about world events or COVID19 that hasn’t been said a million times by millions of other people. I’ve been finding it hard to write with all that is going on and finding the … Read moreBruce Goff: Some Images
Stop being a fucking idiot. Jesus Christ. Buy a fucking lamp. Buy two lamps. Start a fire. Burn down your house. I’m sick of walking into people’s living rooms and having the ceiling fan as the only light source. Did your aunt die and her last wish was that you look poor forever? Seriously – … Read moreStop Lighting Your Room With a Ceiling Fan
I’m in Vegas for the weekend but what better time that the present to start my new career as a food blogger. My girlfriend and I rolled into town way late on Valentine’s Day due to a fatal accident on the US-93. So finding a good place to eat before hitting up the Neon Museum … Read moreMarrakech Las Vegas: Bachelor Uncle Food Review
Before America was a thing or a thought – settlers and colonizers clung to life in the frigid wilds of the Hudson Highlands. A beautiful little alcove just north of the great metropolis, split in half by a mighty unforgiving river. Before America was a thing or a thought – people built wondrous lives together … Read moreThe Last King of the Hudson Highlands
Final Fantasy XIV is a weird game. It’s an MMORPG with a strange economy. Almost everything is worthless. It’s barely worth collecting and selling items. But – you need to if you want the most important thing. Real Estate. Final Fantasy XIV has artificially limited real estate plots in each region. So on a server … Read moreDigital Gentrification – Video Games Are Too Real
So before I started this blog, I would do sociological reviews of vintage computers on YouTube and I’ve had a lot of fun making them. The last few months however, Bachelor Uncle has been getting all of my attention. I try to make these videos once a month, which is awful for the YouTube algorithm … Read moreI Review Vintage Computers on YouTube
In olden times, TVs were extravagant purchases. People wanted them to look nice. So even when they were off, they looked like nice pieces of furniture. They had heavy metal knobs, beautiful cabinetry, and nice speakers. They were beautiful objects on par with the rest of your furniture. Since then we don’t know what the … Read moreSamsung Is Weird, And That’s Good – Bachelor Uncle Brands
So the other day, a reader and hotboy Nick Shelby sent me a message on Facebook and wanted to show me his sweet new score of a perfect MCM table and chair set. Of course I approved because Mr. Shelby recently bought a house in Tucson by famed architect Tom Gist. It’s one of Tom’s … Read moreRespect Your Architecture – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
Growth and maturity is not linear. When we’re kids we grow in spurts, both mentally and physically. Then, one day, we stop. All growth and maturity from that point on is a conscious active decision caused by inspiration or a reaction to trauma. We still grow in spurts, but they’re fractured painful jabs into the … Read morePrayer For Growth. Prayer For Peace.
Bang & Olufsen has to be run exclusively by Bachelor Uncles. Their designs are elegant and modern, but they are out there. Their obsession with glass, steel and wood fits in great with contemporary and mid century architecture, but they do not have soft lines. They really understand that a device should look good when … Read moreBachelor Uncle Brands – Bang & Olufsen
Lester Gaba is nuts. But he’s my kind of nuts. Lester was a weird man. A profoundly strange man. But like a lot of strange men, he had very particular tastes and the gumption to turn them into something. But old creepface up there decided that he would craft himself the hottest, best, and most … Read moreLester Gaba – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
That’s it. That’s all I really wanted to say. Granite countertops look terrible and have always looked terrible. They look like someone shellac’d a granola bar and started using it in Tuscan inspired kitchens. But because it’s Sunday, and I feel I should say more. I will. But really, the entire point of this article … Read moreGranite Countertops Look Like Granola Bars
I have a friend who is a local artist. She designs sells cool witchy stuff at reasonable prices. It’s hip and usually ahead of trend, and she’s incredibly talented and driven. She’s not a huge brand, and yet even she is a victim of China’s world domination plans. Before we start this, please go visit … Read moreMonoculture Part 2- China’s Brilliant Plan For World Domination
There is a lot of romanticism of the past. I wonder if it was just as hard to find unique and colorful pieces back then, but archival evidence says it’s not. In Sears catalogs and local show rooms, there were dozens of color options for everything ranging from couches to refrigerators. Every brand had it’s … Read moreMonoculture – The Crushing Death of Everything, Part 1
Look, not all of us grew up on a farm or fucking our sisters. Pickup trucks are incredibly useful vehicles but they come with huge connotations that I don’t subscribe to. I don’t like steak, so odds are I’m not going to want to drive a car that looks like I eat meat to spite … Read moreFuck You. The Cybertruck Is Amazing. Fight me.
I live in Arizona, and yet, for a long time it seemed every house had a fireplace. It was a weird anomaly. A quirk of the MLS system. When people are searching for a home, they would select “Has Fireplace” and so there were many amazing houses without fireplaces that got ignored. I think homes … Read moreThere’s No Place For A Fireplace
A lot has been written about the media’s effect on the collective female self esteem. The constant onslaught of being “not enough” or “too much” has made generations of women uncomfortable in their own bodies, all just to sell more stuff. Of late, there has been an effort to change from destructive marketing campaigns for … Read moreNon-Traditional Masculinity
Arcades are a very Bachelor Uncle kind of place. The arcades of old were dark, dangerous little dens of inequity where 20 something scumbags ruled the roost. In my hometown we had an arcade in the mall full of ridiculous games like Primal Rage and WarGods. If there was a shitty fighting game, this arcade … Read moreMarvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum – WTF Wednesday
Before this became a blog, it was just me posting pics on my Facebook page. This Sunday, I’m going to just embed a cool song played on an underrated synth, and some pics I’ve collected over the past few months. Hit play on the following video and listen as you scroll through some sweet pictures. … Read moreCool Vibes – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
Editor’s note: I have done zero research for this article. Everything I say is 100% made up and probably definitely true. Sometimes Bachelor Uncle’s have a lack of self awareness. Some people find it easy to be confident when they don’t look at themselves critically. Esteban is a giant goofball weirdo who turned a stupid … Read moreEsteban – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Hello. Stop this right now. Just stop. Go to your room. God damn it. Everyone knows what’s going on. Stop it. You don’t need to do this. There are hundreds of thousands of talented starving artists. Knock this shit off. You’re not artsy. This is all the worst things about Farmhouse. Stop it right now. … Read moreSigns for No One – WTF Wednesday
Today is a “fuck it” kind of day. It’s November. It’s getting cold. I’m annoyed and in a shitty mood. So here’s a cute fucking dog. Dog’s are the best because no matter what, they’re the best friends. They don’t offer you shitty advice or bury you with their own problems. They don’t have other … Read moreMy Dog – Mr. Feeny – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Last week we got to talk about how landlords fuck you. Today, a real estate friend of mine (Sup Tyler!), found this place in his listings and asked if I thought it was Bachelor Uncle material. And the answer is yes with an asterisk. I have friends who live in New York and California who … Read moreLandlord Fuckery: A Tale of Two Shitties – WTF Wednesday
Today we’re going to talk about things you can do with your walls. I keep saying “Down with the white wall” for a reason. I’m so fucking sick of white walls. In an effort to practice what I preach, I will be doing something with my walls soon, but until then, let’s throw some love … Read moreDo Anything Else – Walls Edition
I think it’s important as we fill this blog with cool pictures and bad dick jokes, to built up an aesthetic vocabulary and sense of historical progression. Last week we talked about Art Deco (article here) and one of it’s premier architects. Today, we’re going to talk about a guy who bridged the gap between … Read moreBilly Baldwin – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
In a few years, we’ll never remember that this micro-trend ever happened. It will be lost to time the way HitClipz or the Chumby was. A flash in the pan, that never amounted to much and was gone before anyone noticed. If you want to talk about the waste of a modern civilization – hexagon … Read moreHexagon Shelves – WTF Wednesday
On the surface, a lot of the design tips, tricks and trends discussed in this blog only apply to homeowners. But, I’m going to make the case for why you should feel free to do whatever you want to home, regardless of the feelings of your scumbag landlord. Did you know that your apartment/rental home … Read moreFuck Your Landlord – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
Today we’re going to talk about a Bachelor Uncle if there ever was one. His name is Frank Wolfe, and his life is forever tied to this building. The Glass Bank. Let’s get it started. In 1962, some 38 year old MIT architect built this weird glass building close to where they were launching space … Read moreFrank Wolfe and the Glass Bank: A Cautionary Tale – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Detroit needs a PR team. The whole fucking city. This place has been the butt of jokes my entire life. From Eminem to Insane Clown Posse, Detroit has been portrayed as a festering cesspit of white trashiness, rampant violence, mismanaged government and urban blight. A city so shitty that buying a house here was akin … Read moreThe Opulence of Art Deco – Detroit Edition – WTF Wednesday
Fuck the term “man cave”. I hate the man cave for so many reasons. First of all, man caves seem to be part of heteroterrified bro culture. They spend all this time watching dudes in spandex play cuddleball on Sunday afternoon, but can’t tell their friends they love them. Miss me with that man cave … Read moreAn Ode to the Den – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
I’ve watched over 5 hours of documentaries on this hotboy right here, so that makes me America’s #1 foremost scholar on George Westinghouse. So let me drop some knowledge on why this guy is such a badass Bachelor Uncle. First of all, he wasn’t just some scumbag rich dude leeching off the work of others. … Read moreGeorge Westinghouse – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
I have this great book about vintage color theory. It’s a college text book and it’s a girthy boy. It makes me feel like Denzel Washington in the Book of Eli, crossing a vast desert of achromatic modernism with the last remaining book that dares mention the word color. In this book, it explains all … Read morePastels for Peace – An 80s Color Theory Primer
Are you an evil wizard who lives in a spooky castle and wants to destroy all the light in the universe? Are you trying to kill He-Man and his friends and plunge the planet into darkness and suffering? Are you Skeletor? That’s what I’m asking. If you’re Skeletor, you have to tell me. It’s the … Read moreOh God. Make It Stop. Please. No. – WTF Wednesday
Do you have a sense of humor? Do you legit wonder how you can make your room more Bachelor Uncle? Do you want me to make fun of your living room? Or praise it, if it’s worthy of praise? Maybe you want to convince your Mom that Farmhouse is fucking stupid, so you send me … Read moreShow Me Your Living Room – Submission Time!
Some of my earliest memories of being aware of interior design revolve around Memphis style. Featured heavily in the set design of Pee Wee’s Playhouse, this design language was loud, colorful and other-worldly. Saved by the Bell used Memphis in much the same way that Pee Wee did. It was a way to create a … Read moreI Love Memphis Even Though It’s Stupid And Because It’s Stupid
This guy terrifies me. He’s so perfect and I love him so much that I’m terrified something terrible is going to come out about this man. The only bad thing I found about him was a picture of him with George W. Bush. It’s very strange however, because everything I have read about him is … Read moreMichael Pollack – Bachelor Uncle Of The Month
Some design trends blow up so quickly and then fizzle before you know it. The geometric pendant lamp came out of nowhere a few years ago. Some interior design lamp maker was like “Remember early video game graphics like Battlezone? Let’s make that people’s lamps!” and thus, the geometric pendant lamp was born. I feel … Read moreGeometric Pendant Lamps – WTF Wednesday
Today’s post is just going to be some cool images of pink interiors. I really want to live in each of these spaces. I don’t think we use pink enough in interior decorating. I know it was overused in the ’40s and ’50s, but it’s overdue for a come back. So please enjoy these curated … Read morePink Is A Masculine Color
On a long enough timeline, words stop making sense. Farmhouse style, or Farmhouse Decor or whatever you want to call it doesn’t make sense. It’s completely devoid of context and just seems to be a name for “contemporary” with shitty couches and interior barn doors. Let’s dive in. In the ’80s movie, Baby Boom, starring … Read moreYou Don’t Live On A Farm – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
This week’s pick is pretty obvious. There’s been so many things written about Jim Henson, that there’s no possible way I could do him justice. I will however speak about one thing that I never hear discussed about his personal style. Like Iris Apfel, Jim Henson’s work tended to be very maximalist. His sets were … Read moreJim Henson – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Todd’s Astro Van always needed a few minutes to warm up after a long shift at the video arcade. The engine roared to life like a tiger, but loped along like a narcoleptic three legged dog as it idled. The interior smelled like a poorly tuned boat on the first day of spring. He pushed … Read moreA Day of Nothing: A Bachelor Uncle Micro-Story
On this episode of, “Stop buying shit at Home Goods, Gretchen. You can’t fill that hole in your heart with home decor. Brad is sleeping with his best friend Howard, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can start living, laughing and learning to love again.” – we have this ridiculous metaphor of … Read moreWTF Wednesday – Wood Balls In A Basket
Human beings are born naked, did you know that? You probably forgot cuz it was a really busy time when you were being born, but, it’s true. I’m also, like, 100% sure you were created by people getting naked and bumping uglies. That means, before you ever suck in any air, everything about you is … Read moreErotic Art is a Yes. Don’t Be Scared of Dicks, Dude.
When making a case for something, there is a trope called the “Current Year Argument” which basically means nothing. The current year argument is essentially stating the year that it is, and why something is the way it is. Like “It’s 2019, why can’t I find a new pink fridge!” Some argue that the current … Read moreHidden Monsters – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
Larry Laffer is a scuzzball. No doubt about it. But he’s got what it takes to be a Bachelor Uncle. He’s definitely on his second act, trying to get his life back together. Is he going through a mid-life crisis? Maybe. I like to think that Larry is just trying to tap into his inner … Read moreLarry Laffer – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
I’m going to blame Nate Berkus. Do I know it’s his fault? No. Do I know if he ever made these weird wall barnacles? Nope. But I’m gonna blame him anyway. (Editors Note: I googled this guy and, sure enough, I found this picture.) Somewhere around 2012, these things started popping up in Targets and … Read moreWTF Wednesday – Sea Urchin Wall Art?
Hey Kids. Wanna go to the mall and eat over priced mozzarella sticks while a broken animatronic gorilla screams at you? FUCK YEAH! It’s time for the Rainforest Cafe! Do you love eating reheated frozen food in a room that smells like a public pool? Does the idea of chowing down on some freezer burned … Read moreThe Rainforest Cafe – An Aesthetic Choice
I’m not sure if it’s just the vaporwave aesthetic, or if the promises of the cyberpunk novels of William Gibson are just slowly coming true as we approach the year 2050 – but neon is back, baby. There was a brief moment in the ’80s where people were using neon in interior decorating, but it’s … Read moreNeon is Having a Moment – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
I love writing titles like the one above because it makes it seem like I know what I’m talking about. Let me be clear – I don’t. I’m not a scholar. I’m a dude who’s pissed off about the lifelessness of modern interior design. My whole life I’ve been attracted to things that people think … Read moreIntro to Art Deco, Vol. 1
Yeah dude. Bachelor Uncles can be girls too. They can be whatever the fuck they want to be. It’s 2019, just because I love a good Eames chair from the 1960’s doesn’t mean my gender politics are stuck back there. Fuck man, there’s very few redeemable things left back in the ’60s anyway. The Boomers … Read moreIris Apfel – Bachelor Uncle Of The Week
Real talk – you don’t become a Bachelor Uncle without things having gone extremely wrong at some point in your life. There’s a reason Bachelor Uncles revel in nostalgia and pure expressions of dopamine releases. Whether it’s sex, or gadgets, or technology, or cool lamps, or the neon glow of an arcade – we yearn … Read moreSecond Acts – The Loneliness of the Bachelor Uncle
Why are round beds seen as a sexual thing? Are they too ostentatious? Are they too obvious and overt? Do people think round beds are skeevy? Where do you even buy sheets for these things? Why am I writing only questions? Round beds have an interesting history, especially in film. Directors use round beds as … Read moreRound Bed Roundup
I read somewhere that American’s don’t know how to rug. Like at all. We buy undersized rugs and it makes our rooms seem weird. Did you know that your furniture is supposed to be completely on your rugs? I bet you didn’t. There’s this terrible advice that someone posted on a GeoCities site in 1997 … Read moreDo You Even Rug, Bro? In Praise of Momeni
There’s a small apartment complex here in Phoenix that still carries remnants of it’s unique charm from the 1960’s. These swanky apartments were the peak of masculine modernity in their day. It’s a shame that you don’t see people designing for this kind of lifestyle anymore. Other than the cookie-cutter “urban loft”, there isn’t anything … Read moreShould Architects Be Allowed To Sue Landlords?
Disney owns everything now. They own Marvel. They own Star Wars. They own the Muppets. Disney has everything and it kind of sucks. Science fiction used to be a fantastical place, full of wonder and magic. It was creative and colorful and fantastic. Look at this guys house. He’s got an ultra-wide TV, with a … Read morePaul Alexander – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Oh boy. Yesterday I received an email that made me so unbelievably angry that I had to share it with the 7 people that read this blog. Before I get into it, please don’t harass anyone, please take this with the tongue-in-cheek tone that it is intended. But fuck this shit! HGTV is the Fox … Read moreStop Listening to Realtors.
Can you believe that one of the greatest architectural elements ever invented has fallen out of style because people are too lazy to walk correctly in their house? It’s true. People view sunken living rooms as tripping hazards. If you google “sunken living room” you’ll find a bunch of posts of people asking how to … Read moreThe Sunken Living Room
Everybody poops. This is a fact of life. Bathrooms are for more than just bathing. It’s a great place to relax and spend time. Most people personalize of a bathroom with a fancy shower curtain, or a funky soap dish. But it doesn’t have to be that simple or boring. Put some thought into the … Read moreBathing Uncle Stylez
Current design trends are rife with minimalist designs. Marie Kondo is a scourge of locusts that has descended upon the landscape that is personal expression. “Hold your objects and see if they spark joy, and if not, throw it out.” Pardon my french, but, Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Nothing offends me more than this desire … Read moreVintage Minimalism – Bachelor Uncle Sunday
Logan’s run is one of the most R-rated PG movies ever made. Nudity? CheckViolence? CheckDrugs? CheckCoked out Farrah Fawcett? Cheeeeeeeeck. Now, I know what you’re going to say “But Jack, Logan 5 is a Cop!” You’re correct – he is a cop at the beginning of this movie. It’s unfortunate. Bachelor Uncles by nature are … Read moreLogan 5 – Bachelor Uncle of the Week
Let’s face it – The fact that we deny sexuality in our interior design seems really strange. So much of what we do from the age of puberty on up is to attract mates and have sex. From our careers, choice in cars, choice in clothing, choice of makeup or working out – we’re all … Read moreDesigned for Sex
Click here for the big reveal. hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahaha I love researching for this blog.
At the risk of making this blog seem like it’s too much about Uncle Rico – today we’re gonna talk about conversion vans. It’s really kind of sad that vans have gotten such a bad wrap. Every single car on the road today is some kind of cross-over SUV. They’re boring and they all look … Read moreConversion Vans
Look at this guy. When I become an aged grizzly bachelor uncle, I hope to be like this guy. In my weird house, sitting in my griffin throne playing Mechwarrior 2 on my 486 computer. Hopefully I’ll be able to find a working CRT by then. But this hotboy right here knows the joys and … Read moreWizards Are Cool
One of my favorite interior designers is David Synder. I found this image in his book “Epoustouflant” which means “I’m a pretentious asshole but at least I know what I’m doing.” I like spaces with color – but clearly this space is monochromatic. This is a lot of green. No one will walk into this … Read moreIf Shrek was a Millionaire.
If I lived in Yugoslavia in the 1980’s you better believe I’d be subscribed to this magazine. This is everything I could ever hope for. I wish there was something similar in this day and age. Beautiful women and bleeding-edge technology dripping with style. I have no idea who could afford a computer in Yugoslavia, … Read moreComputers.
A hot tub isn’t just a place to relax – it’s a lifestyle. You have to be a certain type of person to own and use a hot tub regularly. Hot tubs are ice breakers with random people you meet in strange places. The reality is this – on a long enough timeline, you’re going … Read moreHot Tub Lifestyle
There used to be a serious premium placed on conversation in the interior design of the past. Conversation pits. Conversation Couches. Booths. Etc. I can imagine just piling into these booths with all kinds of never-do-wells and laughing all night. Carpet used to be a textural element that aided in said conversation. It acted to … Read moreCircles Serve A Purpose
Today we’re going to stay in the ’80s, but the bachelor uncle aesthetic overlaps about 4 decades. Mid century modern late ’60s stuff into the early ’90s make up the core of the vibe. Not everything from those decades. Only certain things. Since the ’60s, we’ve had amazing advancements in technology and manufacturing, but style … Read moreThe Loss of Choice